This is a daily question on my mind. We--me, you, anyone who participates in religious behaviors as a tool for spiritual well being--are taught to read the scriptures daily as a tool for nurturing our spirits. If I compare this to the physical body, what I eat on a daily basis to nurture my physical needs varies (although it should probably be much healthier than what it usually is). So, this means I should mindfully consider the spiritual food I need on a daily basis and, above all else, just make sure I am eating something...it's too easy to skip meals.
I think scripture study is a very personal topic, just like eating can be. People don't like at all to be forced to eat something they don't like. A health conscious individual likely knows what their body will best respond to, and therefore likes to choose options accordingly. For example, I know that I need protein in the mornings. I don't feel well most days when I eat a refined carbohydrate like cereal or toast. At a minimum, I can plan on being hungry again within an hour or so.
The ultimate goal here is wellness. Physical wellness. Spiritual wellness. Emotional wellness. Food contributes to the physical and emotional. Expressing religiosity contributes to the spiritual and emotional. Emotional wellness reciprocates back to physical and spiritual wellness (i.e. When I feel poorly, I usually fail to eat well and stop nurturing my spirit at least temporarily).
So every morning when I wake up, I start to think about the first items on the agenda. Helping my son get dressed, eating breakfast, working out? And then the question unfailingly pops into my head, "Should I read my scriptures?" Sigh. My intentions are good. I want to nurture my spirit. But how do I measure the meaningfulness of scripture study to feel like my time is worth it?
When I sweat during a workout or am sore after, my time was worth it. I know how to make this happen.
When I feel full after eating a meal, my time was worth it. I also know how to make this happen.
When I feel uniquely uplifted, directed, and rejuvenated after scripture study, my time was worth it. I don't always know how to make this happen.
Sometimes scripture study is a great experience where I feel an increased measure of the Spirit and more encouraged about the direction of my day. Other times I feel little to no difference after scripture study. Hmmm. Are my expectations too high? Did I miss the mark on something? It can be difficult to stay committed to an activity if I don't feel any differently after completing. Especially when it's a private activity which is only noted or recorded typically by myself. And especially when I feel so capable at getting the results I set my mind on in various other activities.
Still though. I've had past experiences of great peace and connection to the Spirit, as a result of reading my scriptures. I've heard respectable others comment on the power they have felt from reading the scriptures. So, it must be a wrestle.
I watched a 20/20 episode a few years back about several different religions. Something I learned is that the one common thread between any religious faith is just that, the presence of faith. Regardless of the specific beliefs (and there were many), the presence of faith that they were believing in something meaningful was critical. Faith--meaning not instant gratification. Faith--meaning belief in something not seen with the eye. Faith--meaning a relationship with a Higher Power that exceeds the often confusing theological viewpoints stirring around and open for debate, and therefore maintains commitment to personal conviction.
Ultimately, I think scripture study can be difficult because measuring the meaningfulness is difficult. I don't always recognize an outcome on the very day I read or ponder a principle. And I like instant gratification. But knowing that faith is the most important principle to practice at any time, maybe it would make sense that a recommended daily activity would require an especially high dose of faith.
And so maybe the conclusion I am coming to, at least for now, is that meaningfulness is measured by commitment and belief. Believing that with time I will feel like a more capable, more connected, and a more doctrinally aware nurturer of my Spirit (is "doctrinally" even a word?). I may not see the benefits until I come into an unexpected or difficult personal experience that causes questioning and refinement. And suddenly I'll have more mental and emotional strength than the last time I experienced something difficult. Or maybe not. In which case I can reevaluate, all the while maintaining faith in the wrestle.
How do you measure the meaningfulness of scripture study or other acts of spiritual nourishment? I would love to hear how you juggle the wrestle, the commitment to faith, and the relentless desire for instant gratification we are surrounded by in every other area of each day. I believe this is so important.
